Lessons In Love

Whatever happened to love? I’m serious. Not like I love to shop or I love my coffee. I mean true, genuine, raw love. Love that never saw race, wrongdoings, inequalities or class. Love that came without asking. It was so undeserving, yet never hard to come by.

This last week I have seen so many people ungrateful, ignorant and completely unforgiving. And no one even noticed. Because now, it’s our way of life.

Spending years in the restaurant business, I had my fair share of rude guests. People were waited on, refills were brought to them and their food was cooked exactly as they like, without them ever lifting a finger. And somehow, they still found ways to complain? Ungrateful.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina I heard a few times too many the phrase, “I can’t help people who aren’t willing to help themselves.” Whatever happened to loving on people whether they wanted it or not? I can think of so many times I’ve sat in my room upset about something that didn't go my way. At that point, I didn’t want advice from my mom or hugs from my friends. But that didn’t stop them. And thank goodness it didn’t, because God knows they got me through it. Understand that these people are going through a whole lot more than that. It wouldn’t catch me by surprise if they didn’t feel like jumping back on their feet and starting their lives all over. But does that mean we shouldn’t love them? Ignorant.

In the end, we all mess up. By no means do I have this life down. I have done things I shouldn’t have and hurt people I never intended to. Hearts are broken, feelings hurt, friendships halted and stereotypes proven. And, the world goes round. And we act as if we are justified when we stop talking to our friends or make bad comments about our co-worker because they were the ones in the wrong. As if we, ourselves, had never told a lie or had a bad thought? Unforgiving.

And what has been most frustrating for me is to see something that is supposed to be there for everyone, only be there for some. Something that should accept everyone, only accept some. Something that was made to love only cause shame and guilt. There are some churches out there that just don't get it. It seems as though the church says, “We will love you and spend time with you, when you become like us.” We use negative terms like “non-christian” or “non-believer” to describe those who don’t think the way we do. We focus on asking the congregation to convert their friends and bring them to church. But it’s not about making sure the numbers are up from last week or that Janet didn’t fall into her same sin again. It’s about going into the world and expressing the love Christ has. We can’t expect the world to come to church. Because the reality is, they won’t. We have to take church to them. Love them, regardless of the way they live their life. Jesus would. Jesus does.

We live in an imperfect world. I’m not sure we will ever see this real love in everyone until heaven is on earth. But, I’ve seen the ways real love can impact a person. I’ve been to the Dominican Republic to serve people. They were so grateful and full of love, they served me. I remember my college roommates collect cans for months to give to the homeless that dug threw the trash. I’ve seen strangers give to other strangers generously, just because they could.

We live in a busy, crazy world. It’s so easy to get caught up in work and life and making a living. But underneath our self-promoting schedules lies the simplicity of life. Love. To those we would call undeserving, ungrateful, ignorant and unforgiving…true love can’t tell.