Whatever happened to love? I’m serious. Not like I love to shop or I love my coffee. I mean true, genuine, raw love. Love that never saw race, wrongdoings, inequalities or class. Love that came without asking. It was so undeserving, yet never hard to come by.
This last week I have seen so many people ungrateful, ignorant and completely unforgiving. And no one even noticed. Because now, it’s our way of life.
Spending years in the restaurant business, I had my fair share of rude guests. People were waited on, refills were brought to them and their food was cooked exactly as they like, without them ever lifting a finger. And somehow, they still found ways to complain? Ungrateful.
In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina I heard a few times too many the phrase, “I can’t help people who aren’t willing to help themselves.” Whatever happened to loving on people whether they wanted it or not? I can think of so many times I’ve sat in my room upset about something that didn't go my way. At that point, I didn’t want advice from my mom or hugs from my friends. But that didn’t stop them. And thank goodness it didn’t, because God knows they got me through it. Understand that these people are going through a whole lot more than that. It wouldn’t catch me by surprise if they didn’t feel like jumping back on their feet and starting their lives all over. But does that mean we shouldn’t love them? Ignorant.
In the end, we all mess up. By no means do I have this life down. I have done things I shouldn’t have and hurt people I never intended to. Hearts are broken, feelings hurt, friendships halted and stereotypes proven. And, the world goes round. And we act as if we are justified when we stop talking to our friends or make bad comments about our co-worker because they were the ones in the wrong. As if we, ourselves, had never told a lie or had a bad thought? Unforgiving.
And what has been most frustrating for me is to see something that is supposed to be there for everyone, only be there for some. Something that should accept everyone, only accept some. Something that was made to love only cause shame and guilt. There are some churches out there that just don't get it. It seems as though the church says, “We will love you and spend time with you, when you become like us.” We use negative terms like “non-christian” or “non-believer” to describe those who don’t think the way we do. We focus on asking the congregation to convert their friends and bring them to church. But it’s not about making sure the numbers are up from last week or that Janet didn’t fall into her same sin again. It’s about going into the world and expressing the love Christ has. We can’t expect the world to come to church. Because the reality is, they won’t. We have to take church to them. Love them, regardless of the way they live their life. Jesus would. Jesus does.
We live in an imperfect world. I’m not sure we will ever see this real love in everyone until heaven is on earth. But, I’ve seen the ways real love can impact a person. I’ve been to the Dominican Republic to serve people. They were so grateful and full of love, they served me. I remember my college roommates collect cans for months to give to the homeless that dug threw the trash. I’ve seen strangers give to other strangers generously, just because they could.
We live in a busy, crazy world. It’s so easy to get caught up in work and life and making a living. But underneath our self-promoting schedules lies the simplicity of life. Love. To those we would call undeserving, ungrateful, ignorant and unforgiving…true love can’t tell.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
the Hero
This is a blog I've been thinking about for a long time. Whenever I have an idea, I usually toss it around in my head for a couple days until I think it's ready to write. But this blog, I've been tossing it around in my head for six months. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do it justice, but I think I'm finally ready to try.
My husband has an incredibly honorable job. He's absolutely willing to risk his life for a stranger and he deals with a lot of bad people on a regular basis to make sure his city is safe. He comforts, he consoles, he teaches, he listens, he disciplines, he protects and so much more.
Being married to a police officer, you get a tiny peek into the world they live in. I'll never know exactly how Ryan feels in the situations he's been in. Because I'll never live it, I know I'll never fully be able to understand the capacity of his job. And I'm okay with that. I understand the importance of him spending time with his fellow officers on and off duty because of the special bond and brotherhood they have. Those officers can understand and encourage Ryan in ways I simply can't.
But, we still debrief together at the end of every shift and I listen and encourage him the way any wife would. And the more we talk, the more I sit in awe of him. On the surface, it's quite evident that being a police officer is a respectable job. I mean, anyone willing to carry a gun and sacrifice his own life for anyone else is honorable. But the mental and physical challenges of what he goes through each night is what truly makes him a hero.
On a regular basis, my husband is dealing with the type of people I hope to never cross paths with: addicts, rapists, robbers, sexual offenders, liars, parolees, cheaters and just plain bad people. He sees the worst of this world- and he's managing it while the rest of us sleep.
And as if this concept wasn't difficult enough for me to grasp, there is one thing that pushes me even further into disbelief. At the end of his day, everyday, he smiles.
Smile? After dealing with people spitting on you, disrespecting you and threatening your life...you can smile? After being exposed to a world that many people cannot even begin to comprehend? A world that some people don't even know exists?
To see how dirty and cold and ruthless this world can be isn't easy. But to be able to take that, and in your mind separate that from the world you live in is an incredible gift.
It's easy for me to look at this world and maintain compassion and hope. After all, I've lived a very lucky and happy life. But to deal with what Ryan deals with and not be jaded and apathetic shows me a true hero.
How he doesn't shove truth in the face of the ignorant boggles my mind. I guess it's because he's such a good person. He understands that the life he sees isn't a life people should have to see. He allows most people to live peacefully in their bubble because he knows that more often than not, they can't handle reality. And while he does all the dirty work each night, he comes home smiling knowing that most people won't ever have to see the things he's seen.
And for that, he's my hero.
My husband has an incredibly honorable job. He's absolutely willing to risk his life for a stranger and he deals with a lot of bad people on a regular basis to make sure his city is safe. He comforts, he consoles, he teaches, he listens, he disciplines, he protects and so much more.
Being married to a police officer, you get a tiny peek into the world they live in. I'll never know exactly how Ryan feels in the situations he's been in. Because I'll never live it, I know I'll never fully be able to understand the capacity of his job. And I'm okay with that. I understand the importance of him spending time with his fellow officers on and off duty because of the special bond and brotherhood they have. Those officers can understand and encourage Ryan in ways I simply can't.
But, we still debrief together at the end of every shift and I listen and encourage him the way any wife would. And the more we talk, the more I sit in awe of him. On the surface, it's quite evident that being a police officer is a respectable job. I mean, anyone willing to carry a gun and sacrifice his own life for anyone else is honorable. But the mental and physical challenges of what he goes through each night is what truly makes him a hero.
On a regular basis, my husband is dealing with the type of people I hope to never cross paths with: addicts, rapists, robbers, sexual offenders, liars, parolees, cheaters and just plain bad people. He sees the worst of this world- and he's managing it while the rest of us sleep.
And as if this concept wasn't difficult enough for me to grasp, there is one thing that pushes me even further into disbelief. At the end of his day, everyday, he smiles.
Smile? After dealing with people spitting on you, disrespecting you and threatening your life...you can smile? After being exposed to a world that many people cannot even begin to comprehend? A world that some people don't even know exists?
To see how dirty and cold and ruthless this world can be isn't easy. But to be able to take that, and in your mind separate that from the world you live in is an incredible gift.
It's easy for me to look at this world and maintain compassion and hope. After all, I've lived a very lucky and happy life. But to deal with what Ryan deals with and not be jaded and apathetic shows me a true hero.
How he doesn't shove truth in the face of the ignorant boggles my mind. I guess it's because he's such a good person. He understands that the life he sees isn't a life people should have to see. He allows most people to live peacefully in their bubble because he knows that more often than not, they can't handle reality. And while he does all the dirty work each night, he comes home smiling knowing that most people won't ever have to see the things he's seen.
And for that, he's my hero.
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