The Pregnancy Effect

Pregnancy really changes you. I'm not talking about the extra lbs, the forgetfulness or being prone to regular tearfests. I mean as a person, I feel like I'm really changing and I feel like those changes are changes that are going to stick with me for the rest of my entire life.

Knowing a real life human being is growing inside you and waiting for her mom and dad to show her what life is all about can consume a lot of your thoughts. Rather than thinking about what to wear to work or what my next vacation will be, I'm trying to figure out how in the world babies don't come with some kind of training manual.

Pregnancy has definitely given me a new perspective on strength. At my job, when my boss says something to me that's fairly condescending, I've learned to write it off as "he's just having a bad day" or "he doesn't understand American business culture." To be completely honest, I've always kind of prided myself in being able to ignore those comments and move on with a productive work day. But for some reason, ever since being pregnant, I can't help but think of my baby girl when my boss says something uncalled for. I hope she doesn't have a boss like my boss because she wouldn't ever deserve to be talked to that way. And I hope that she wouldn't sit there and make excuses for him. I'd hope she would stick up for herself. These thoughts have given me the strength to realize that it's not okay for him to talk to me rudely, whether he's having a bad day or not. And next time it happens, I think I'll have the strength to let him know.

Pregnancy has given me a new perspective on patience. This is a tough one for me because I think that since being pregnant, I've become more impatient. But in those moments where I let my patience run out, I think of my little girl and the kind of example I'm being. It's annoying working on the 10th floor and having to stop 7 times on the way up because the people on levels 1-3 don't want to talk the stairs, EVER. But at the same time, those 7 steps may only delay me an entire two minutes. When I think of my little girl working on the 10th floor somewhere, I hope she smiles at every single person who goes in and out of that elevator while she patiently waits. I do intend on working on my patience issues really soon. Really soon.

Pregnancy has given me a new perspective on being a dog owner. I won't even try to deny it for a second. My dogs always knew that if they wanted something, the only one they were going to get it from was me. A long time ago I made the mistake of thinking it was cute when our lab jumped into his own chair each night to sleep in. And now, two years later, he thinks he owns it. But those sweet, cuddly faces never worked on my husband. He's always been firm with our dogs and thank goodness, because it's paid off. But I now have less tolerance for both the dogs pretending they can't hear me when I tell them to sit down. And while I would much rather lie on the couch and ignore the fact that they are ignoring me, I get up when I'm tired and force them to lie down. I even spent a half hour with our lab teaching him to lie down one day. Before pregnancy I was a very passive dog parent, but being pregnant and imagining all the energy I'm going to need to spend disciplining my little one has given me a new perspective on managing my dogs.

Not all the changes I've endured during pregnancy are this heartfelt. I've suddenly become a devoted fan to iced tea, green chilies and chicken noodle soup. Even more shocking, I just may be moving my coffee obsession down the street to Coffee Bean instead of Starbucks- a change not even I saw coming. But, I'm enjoying that being pregnant is allowing me to constantly reflect on my own thoughts and actions. I'd always thought I would spend the majority of my time reading baby books and learning just the right way to get a baby to fall asleep. Instead, I've spent most of time reflecting upon myself and what changes I can make to become a better parent. Thank goodness I've got 4 1/2 months left- I'm going to need every minute of it!